do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
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