She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im part way to drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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