Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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