As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
