How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
