im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
