I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
