Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
