Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
