ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So many bounce houses so little time
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
