We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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