Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
