I want to stick my p in your. b.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
