I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
