There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
