He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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