just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
