Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
