I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
