The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
