I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
