i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
