and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
