Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
