That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
