Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
how drunk are you?
Several
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
