so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
