Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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