She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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