If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
