So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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