Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
