On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
