get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
