I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
