no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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