Do vagina's smell?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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