yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
