I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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