one two three fourrrrnication!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
