I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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