you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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