I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
