I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
