And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
