i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
