She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
