yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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