it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
