Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
