My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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