I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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