What a fucking waste of an outfit
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
