Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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